So, my dear husband and I are in the process of purchasing a house together. What the heck am I thinking?!? I love him and want to spend my life with him, but obviously this isn't going to work if he doesn't change his mind on this child having issue.
It's jut tough to be in limbo. I'm in denial I suppose. I just keep thinking, if I pretend everything is going to be ok, then maybe it will be ok. If I get us more and more "stuck" together, then he will just have to agree to have a kid with me because it will end up being more work to split up than to just give in and have a kid with me. Of course, I wish it wasn't like this. I would much rather have a husband who wants to have a kid with me because he knows we will be great parents and thinks we will be happy together as a family. But what can I do when all I have is what I have, a man who I love with all my heart but who doesn't quite love me the way I want him to, ie. doesn't want to have a kid with me?
Maybe this will end up all being a big mistake. I dunno. I just wish I could resolve this issue now but all I can do is keep hoping he changes his mind or lose the man I love more than anyone else in the world. How can I even consider that? It breaks my heart to even think about it. I feel so out of control of my future. If I can just get him to agree to have one kid I will have a huge weight off of my shoulders, but so far no luck. All I can do is just keep hoping since I can't handle the other options right now. Just keep hoping and pretending and maybe it will come true?
No comments:
Post a Comment